GRE Experience- People with anxiety (not test anxiety)

For people who have anxiety, I want to inform you or maybe even relate my GRE experience.

I have been studying for the GRE since July, online course, access to many tools, many words, formulas question types memorized.

I scored 145Q/146V yesterday, I am not trying to evade responsibility of my scores when I say it was the timer, but when I take untimed practice tests I usually score in the 155-160 range in each section.

Well, applications are due soon for a lot of grad schools as you all know, so retaking may not be an option.

I am applying for an MPH in Behavioral/Community Sciences, Undergrad Sociology, 3.5 GPA, clinical and behavioral hands on experience with patients/clients, oh and ofcourse preparation for an MPH since my second semester undergrad.

Despite my zealous attitude for the subject, my letter of recommendations from client relatives, professors and managers and good academic standing my GRE is going to be a debilitating factor in some way.

Anyways let's make this about all of us with anxiety for a moment. Maybe you were neglected, psychologically abused, or endured even worse abuse at some point, your anxiety and fear is embedded in you for life. You can contain it most of the time, but it creeps up on you. Test day does not reflect your abilities. So maybe you're not graduate school material?

ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE AND ON THE CONTRARY.

People with anxiety, depression, mixtures or other mental ailments are some of the brightest people out there. We use our brains so much in every situation, we are alert, we are judgemental, we are always assessing, truly a gift and a curse.

All I know are these things to be certain: I am graduate school material. I have A grades in math as high as precalculus, I understand geometry and algebra quite well. I have A grades in theory and English courses, I understand how to comprehend and explain what I am reading. So if admissions looks at my GRE scores and dismisses my academic achievements as a whole is it really my loss or theirs?

I don't know what is to come next, I don't know if I will retake. Seven practice tests, courses, memorizations and the actual test I am pretty burnt out and discouraged.

Test accommodations for the GRE are a joke (as far as mental illness is concerned).

Before I proceed, if you are one of those people who thinks mental illness is a made up phenomena please excuse yourself now

Have you seen what is required of you to get more time on GRE for ADD/ADHD test takers? They have to prove their condition with evidence from elementary school, what!? Current diagnosis is not enough and the GRE is assuming that these conditions are only relevant as far as they have been pervasive through childhood.

I read this one woman who took the test 3-4 times and could not get that accommodation despite her condition and current diagnosis of it.

My point is...

If you are a person who is bright, but cannot make that appear on a standardized test you are not alone. If you are a person who struggles with the complexities of depression, anxiety, mood disorders, etc. you are likely a valuable candidate for graduate school. You are likely more compassionate and empathetic person and your academic abilities are valuable in combination with those things.

Disclaimer

Please do not tell me, or for that matter anyone with anxiety to calm down, take a deep breath or other cliches. Trust me, we want nothing more to be calm, and not overthink things.

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GRE Experience- People with anxiety (not test anxiety)